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Thursday, July 22, 2004



I read the article. I only think it was written to get a reaction. "I don't want 3 kids, it was in my power to have only one, so I did." I don't think this was educational or touching or enlightening, nothing. This woman doesn't portray herself as particularly angst ridden- so its hard to tell if we were supposed to see this as a growth experience or what. The inconviences to do with the pg seem trite in the face of real parenting. "I can't fly after 15 weeks." Big deal, there are much bigger sacrifices as a parent. I have no quarrel with her decision or her right to make her decision, I just want to know why she insisted on sharing it with me or anyone else.


I also read the article and was surprized by Amy's honesty and emotional detachment. Maybe she could have made her point in a more sympathetic way. For example, maybe flying is an issue because her job requires it and she needs the money. We don't know how solid her relationship was, she wasn't married when she got pregnant. There are a lot of unknowns. I have a 4 year old, I'm 36 and I'm struggling terribly with whether or not to have another. Women that get pregnant via in-vitro fertilization routinely use selective reduction to control the # of fetuses that develop. I'm not saying I agree with Amy's decision but I do agree that she shouldn't have to defend or explain herself. And one final thought, if she doesn't want to stop flying and start shopping in Costco (on this, I dont't blame her) and she felt forced to then she would be a miserable person. At least this way she will be a happy, willing participant in one child's life instead of a resentful, unwilling parent of 3.

T'Mershi Duween

This is such a charged subject. I'm not sure that sound "reasoning" works here. It's a real intuitive issue for a lot of people. Abortion is murder. No amount of reasoning can change that if that's what your gut tells you. There is an ongoing debate in the UK about reducing the number of weeks. Pretty alive foetuses are being aborted at the current level.


I won't dispute Amy's choice...it is hers to make. My major concern about her article is that it comes from a woman who is a pro-choice promoting feminist and I think that she has actually done some harm to the cause. There is nothing sympathetic in her story and in fact, she comes across as hugely self-serving and callous. The anti-choice forces will rally behind this one.


I just finally got around to posting my own thoughts on the matter, because it's been sticking in my craw ever since I read the story. I came to the same sort of "why did she tell this story, anyway?" conclusion. In reference to Karan's comment about, "callous" was exactly the word I used, too. I'm pro-choice, but I found her particular choice distasteful, within the framework of the story she told. I think it will do more to polarize the camps than...whatever her point was for telling us.

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