funtime parties or speaking of headaches

I forgot to mention that yes, today I have a headache and yes, yesterday I took my daughter to a birthday party at Funtime America.  And although there isn't scientific research to support my claim, I do think there might be an actual cause and effect relationship between Funtime America and migraine headaches.

I tried to keep my spirits up at Funtime, because it is after all a big play area for kids and it makes them so happy.  Why oh why, then, does it make me absolutely cringe in misery?  Could it be the 900 kids mulling about, hopped up on ice cream cake running around with the desire to "win things"? 

Could it be that I despise video games, especially the kinds with violence, attached jetskis, and such?  It is ironic that in college I was the manager of the gamesroom (the room filled with billiards, ping pong, and pinball machines) since I clearly am not a "gamesroom type of person". 

Trapped in Funtime I felt like the Gringe who complained about the Who's and "the noise, the noise, the noise!"

I have decided that part of the problem is that Funtime America is loud, crowded, and totally assaulting to my sensitive senses. I had decided to "stay at the party" because Funtime America is huge and the kids run off in 200 directions and it is actually quite easy for someone to leave with your child since there are absolutely no protective measures in place and the mommy throwing the party didn't know my kid anymore than I knew hers.

That meant I had to waste two precious hours surrounded in a place I abhor with a four-year-old son who ran, much like The Flash, from game to game to game while I tried to keep up (holding our coats, drinks, etc). Yeah, I was grouchy even if my little guy had a great time shooting hoops and playing slots.

And I even did a good job of hiding my bad mood. My son and I did our own thing but checked in on the party every now and then. Later my daughter told me that I looked like I was in a good mood. I guess I'm a better actor than I thought. Oh yeah, here's the worst part of all. I dropped $45 bucks at this party -- $20 in the birthday card (no time to shop for food let alone gifts) and $20 in games/rides and $5 on soda, water, candy. I wouldn't mind spending the money on games, I'm not usually stingy with the money (heck a movie for a family of four costs $29 in tickets alone) but it's such a scam. They should call the place "FunCrime America" the way they rob you. I kid you not that the kids feed tokens into those annoying machines with their 20 second games like they are on some crack-addicted high.

"Mom, I need more tokens, give me more, hurry, hurry, I need more tokens!" After tiring of hoops, I convinced my son to try slots, because there were seats and lazy mom could sit and watch. And gee it was kind of exciting and even seemed like we were winning - 150 tickets in two pulls had me wishing I took my son to Atlantic City instead of Funtime America. And what did his winnings "buy" - for lack of a better word - CRAP! Crap that I didn't want him to have and wished he didn't have to have.

I sat there and realized that for $15 he could have bought a cool Justice League Action Figure, but instead he got two miniscule plastic airplanes (I kid you not they were the size of earrings) and some other useless flimsy item - a plastic dinosaur head on a stick which was broken by today. The funny thing is that in Vegas our kids want to play the slot machines and can't because kids can't gamble in casinos. It is against the law. But however, it is completely within the law for kids to pour all of their money into games for nothing, no payout, nada, crap!

I can't believe what I am about to say (realizing that my kids inherit the Arnold genetic code for loving casino gambling, poker, and betting) -- but I would rather these mini-casinos allowed my kids to win money or something of equal value. Otherwise, I feel so scammed, like such a sucker. I know the house always wins, but at least in real casinos you have a chance of leaving a winner.

My husband says that I miss the point. The point being that the games are "fun" and that the kids don't care about the prizes anyway. He says that they have fun just playing. I say fine, then skip the crappy prizes completely. Because I have no patience for standing in a line of 25 kids all pushing and shoving to exchange their 4 million tickets for a tattoo or a spider ring.

In fact, I would rather give my kids a $10 bill if they would skip the prize counter completely.

Comments

[Jimmy]

LOL! I work at Funtime America and I just happened to randomly find this by searching for it on Google. I must say, you are 100%. I thought the same thing... to gamble away money to win something that'll be lost behind a bed for years or can be swallowed by a kid is 100x's worse than gambling. Come by Funtime America, look for the kids with the "Jimmy" nametag it's really a button), and I'll give ya some tokes for free ;)

[Dennis]

Took my daughter to Funtime America last Saturday and she and her friends had a great time, they loved the games, rides and the whole experience. I think if your trying to escape noise you should try a day spa getaway. I will be taking my daughter again next year and we'll all enjoy the "noise". mother hear me roar, next time you go to an entertainment place...try taking a xanax.