HAPPINESS. We all want it and yet at times it can seem so damn elusive.
It's here one minute and then vanishes the next. We can steal snippets of happiness, but often are left with an overall feeling of discontent or unhappiness. The older we get, the more disillusioned we can become, asking ourselves: Where's my slice of happiness?...Haven't I paid my dues? ...Is this all there is?
Despite my recent personal problems, I would rate myself as overall fairly happy, meaning I feel I am living the life I was meant to live and am aware that I have been lucky/blessed in many ways. I believe that every challenge and/or opportunity in my life has presented itself for a reason, and has made me the person I am.
But while I dont have an overwhelming feeling of disillusionment or disconnect at this phase of my life, I am coming to terms with the fact that I can have more than I currently have. I can have the life I imagine. I can have MORE happiness -- and beyond that a sense of well-being, fulfillment, and love.
The only thing keeping me from having that life? MYSELF.
Recently, I was driving in my car and a local radio station announced that it had been polling the audience all day asking them to vote for the #1 Romantic Movie of All Time. And then it proudly announced that the inner of the poll was none other then....drumroll please....GHOST.
At first, I thought, that was a pretty cool choice. After all, I agree that Ghost is funny, thrilling, original, scary (anything with Whoopi Goldberg usually is), and sexy (yes it's hard to forget Demi and Patrick in Pottery 101). But as I was driving along listening to the disc jockeys rattle off their own personal favorite romantic movies (Titanic, Casablanca, The English Patient, Gone With The Wind, The Way We Were, and others) I was immediately struck by one common theme in their choices.
Is it possible that in movies, the most romantic scenarios aren't those in which lovers are united for life -- but those in which lovers are kept apart for eternity or DIE young?
** Note: This is a repost from The Philosophical Mother, 2003
They are three of the simplest words in the entire English language:
I. Love. You.
And yet strung together, they create one of the most powerful statements we can utter to another human being.
I wish these words would tumble off my tongue often and easily. I am embarrassed and sad to say they don't. And that has become a problem for me. Because not only do I want to become more loving, I want to be able to express myself more lovingly.
I was putting together this blog about love yesterday while my son was sitting in the other room watching ESPN which was reporting on the NCAA's harsh sanctions against Penn State. This coming a day after Joe Paterno's statue was removed from campus.
As I listened from my office, I immediately wanted to applaud these actions. Like many, I have little sympathy for those who not only sat idly by and let children be molested and abused for more than a decade...but made a CONSCIOUS decision to CONCEAL these CRIMES... just so a football team/college could protect their reputation.
But then, I paused. Because this is a blog about LOVE and rather than focus on the negative and add flames to the fire, I wondered if Joe Paterno -- the man -- and not the legend or the fallen idol --- was deserving of even an ounce of my compassion.
How do we make sense of the senseless Aurora tragedy? With stories like these, which focus on the best of us -- people who respond quickly, putting others' lives before their own -- their phenomenal courage and love an inspiration to all. These are true heroes.
The last time I dove into blogging it was almost ten years ago (2003 to be exact), and I was struggling with the frustrations and isolation of stay-at-home motherhood and looking for a community of peers to help me make sense of the complexities of my current situation. I found that community and they not only saved my life and sanity, confirming to me that I wasn't alone, they also inspired me daily with their compassion, kindness and wit.
As my kids aged and I found other creative outlets (screenwriting and filmmaking) my blogging fell by the wayside. Facebook status updates became my daily contact with the online community.
Now, I find myself dusting off the old blogging skills because I sense that once again it might just save my life and sanity.
So why now?
Continue reading "why blog about my life and love and all that?" »
"If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special." Jim Valvano
“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.” ― Milan Kundera
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