hurdles to happiness

HAPPINESS. We all want it and yet at times it can seem so damn elusive.

It's here one minute and then vanishes the next. We can steal snippets of happiness, but often are left with an overall feeling of discontent or unhappiness. The older we get, the more disillusioned we can become, asking ourselves: Where's my slice of happiness?...Haven't I paid my dues? ...Is this all there is?

Despite my recent personal problems, I would rate myself as overall fairly happy, meaning I feel I am living the life I was meant to live and am aware that I have been lucky/blessed in many ways. I believe that every challenge and/or opportunity in my life has presented itself for a reason, and has made me the person I am.

But while I dont have an overwhelming feeling of disillusionment or disconnect at this phase of my life, I am coming to terms with the fact that I can have more than I currently have. I can have the life I imagine. I can have MORE happiness -- and beyond that a sense of well-being, fulfillment, and love.

The only thing keeping me from having that life? MYSELF.

That's right, like many people I've set up hurdles to happiness.

And then, rather than just leap over these hurdles, I've skirted around them for years. I'd even go as far to say that I've done my best to ignore most of these hurdles are even there...until, of course, I find myself crashing into one, sending us both tumbling to the ground.

The hurdles may have served some purpose at one point in my life. Perhaps I put them up to protect me from others or as reminders for me to stop, think, and then leap over life's challenges with determination and grit.

However, now I think it's time to dismantle these hurdles. Because, 1) I'm tired of crashing into them (man, those bruises sting) and 2) I have no use for them anymore. They aren't making me stronger. They just keep me from reaching the finish line with grace.

There are enough real hurdles in life -- i.e. unexpected and difficult SITUATIONS (separation), CHALLENGES (illness) or even PEOPLE (bosses from hell) -- springing up ahead of us on the track. We don't need to keep throwing our own internal hurdles into the mix. In fact, we need to get out of our own way, and let ourselves soar towards happiness.

I am beginning to come to terms with some of my own hurdles, which I've listed below (this is in no way a complete list, but just a sampling).

What are some of your hurdles? And are you ready to dismantle them?

MY HURDLES TO HAPPINESS:

* Limiting Beliefs About Myself -- I'm so used to being seen one way that I've come to accept this vision of myself as truth.  I'm not wonderful all the time, but neither am I terrible. If I can eventually see that I can take each day as it comes and not let it overwhelm me, then I can allow myself to be whatever I need to be on any given day and in any given situation. I don't have to be one way all the time and neither do you.

* Propensity to Make As Much Stuff About Me As I Can -- Truth is not everything in the world is about me and not everything is personal. I'm not a narcissist, but I tend to be overly-sensitive and thus take on other people's stuff and make it about me, when in reality it might be their failure or their flaw, and in all likelihood has absolutely nothing to do with me.

* Hearing Things One Way and Jumping to Conclusions -- Again, I can be overly-senstive and can overreact and take offense at a comment that wasn't meant to offend. Sometimes listening puts me on automatic attack mode, ready to defend at a moment's notice. But this mode can keep me from hearing the truth of what is being said.

* Being Afraid to Try Something New -- I am especially adverse to trying anything I risk looking like a complete fool while doing it. By stopping myself from trying new things, I'm just limiting myself again.  If we can lose our ego (or at least implement a gag rule at times) we can lose the one thing that keeps us from complete happiness. So I look like a fool? Isn't it better to laugh at myself than to block new experiences or live in fear of trying something new?

* I'm Not Comfortable Opening My Heart to Others -- Truth is I've not been nearly as loving as I could have been. For years, I've tried to protect myself from getting hurt, and this has affected not only my marriage, but all of my relationships. I'm not a bad person, just wounded by the early death of my father. However, I am learning that there is more to lose by shielding my heart. We can't avoid rejection or pain in life -- not if we love with all our heart and love another completely. Love comes with a cost -- eventual loss. It takes great courage to love, and lose, but it beats only loving half-way.

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