Lizbeth Finn-Arnold

I Feel Good...

Last week was a very good week! In fact it was the best week I've had in three long, brutal and agonizing years. I feel like a new person, or rather like my old self.

I'm not saying I'm completely cured. I still am extremely tired, but for the past nine days, I have been almost pain-free. As in, for the first time in 1095 days, I am without pain in some part of my body. I haven't even had a headache.

Now imagine how I must feel. I've been in pain for every second of every minute of every hour of every day for 1095 days! And now, suddenly I am free of pain! It is nothing short of a miracle.

Texting and Walking Zombies

In NJ, they are proposing a bill to make texting and walking illegal.

I think fining the "walk-and-texters" is a great idea because they drive me nuts, and it is actually dangerous. I cannot comprehend why people can't live without their phones for even one second. I see kids getting off buses, staring like zombies at their phones, unaware of the world around them. Cars whizzing by? They don't even register it. They literally can't wait two minutes to get inside their homes before they answer a text?

Also I hate shopping in stores, because people on their phones continuously walk into me (and then look at me like I'm an alien). I see people walking around in cities completely clueless to the world beyond their phones. Whatever happened to being street smart and aware of your environment? And why does every message need to be returned instantaneously?

 

Watch it or Turn it Off

I have to remember to bring my earbuds with me when I go out. I'm sitting at the car place waiting for an oil change and the TV is blasting. My least favorite stuff too -- game shows and pharmaceutical commercials.

It's just noise. Irritating noise. Nobody's watching it. Everyone is either on their smartphones or reading the newspaper. But still we need to have this irritating background noise?

Doesn't help that I have a dull headache that I'm hoping won't become a full-blown migraine as that would make it the fourth day in a row with a migraine.

 

I Love My Subconscious....

 Yesterday, I was ecstatic to get my computer back and learn that my hard drive was intact, even though most of the other parts were damaged from the tea I spilled on it and had to be replaced entirely. However, as I double-checked, and then triple-checked my files I could not find the very detailed outline/breakdown for my novel that I had completed in April. Believe me, I looked for it in just about every folder and ran search after search.

Finally, I went to bed thinking "Oh well, I guess I should be happy I got 99% of my stuff back. I'll just have to redo the outline/breakdown."

That's when I laid down, shut my eyes, and heard my subconscious say: "It's not gone. Check the trash."

Year of the Warrior Goddess 2015

I look back on 2014 as the Year of the Zombie. Me, being the Zombie. With almost constant and chronic pain, I too cringed at first when I saw the self-generated "It's been a great year," facebook header, but then when I reviewed my photos I was reminded, that truth be told, it was a great year. If I only focused on one aspect of me, my physical self, I could have wallowed in self-pity and would have missed out on all the other wonderful aspects of my life. Family. Friends. Pups. Laughter. Love. Sunsets. Books. Food. Travel.

My life is pretty good when I focus on what I have, rather on what I don't have. As I look forward to 2015, and shed the Year of Zombie for good, I claim this new year as the Year of the Warrior Goddess. Stronger. Healthier. More balanced. And in harmony with my life. After all, Zombies are so last year, don't ya know?

Birthday Reflections

On my birthday, I sat and reflected over the last year, that was in many ways one of the toughest of my life. At least physically. Starting almost exactly a year ago I had been in pain almost every day.

Plus, it was a year of immense transitions. We moved into a new home. My daughter finished high school and started college. Our house was going through major renovations.

And I couldn't seem to get answers as to why pain seemed to be migrating through my body.

Yes, there was a back injury. Which likely inflamed my fibromyalgia. Which likely inflamed my Epstein Barr, which likely impacted my hormones, which were triggering tons of migraines, which all left my immune system depleted and exhausted.

This meant I felt like a Zombie who pushed through my days, and got things done that needed to get done but mostly I felt like I was just existing.