Lizbeth Finn-Arnold

Lyme Success Stories

Now that I've been sick for almost three years, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be whole again. But I know I'm on the right path and just need to be reminded of more Success Stories. Otherwise I just get too overwhelmed by all the suffering I see around me.

I have to believe recovery is possible, not just for me, but for all my fallen comrades.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/04/i-survived-lyme-disease-and-you-will-too/

Did Prince Die from Pain?

As of now we have no confirmation that Percocet or any other drug played a part in Prince's early death. But I would not be surprised to learn they did. How else does an otherwise 'healthy middle-aged man' just die? Nor would I be surprised to learn that Prince lived with pain for years and pushed himself to perform, giving off the appearance he was healthy and vital. That's what people with chronic pain do -- PRETEND to be healthy. After all, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!

Chronic pain is a problem nobody wants to discuss. How do we live with constant pain? How do we work with constant pain? How do we live up to other expectations when the pain will not go away? Why is pain aging an entire generation before its time and stealing its future?

Levels of Pain

Woke up at Level 10 (can barely move. Can't talk) today and slowly progressed to Level 7 -- (can watch TV and simultaneously read facebook).

There was a time I was so busy that I prayed to just have an entire day to "do nothing". Now I pray for the opposite. Doing nothing is totally overrated....

‪#‎ChronicLyme‬ ‪#‎Tiredofbeingtired‬ ‪#‎chronicfatigue‬ ‪#‎invisibleillness‬

Waking up Without Pain...

Third day in a row I woke up without feeling like somebody poured concrete around my hips while I was sleeping. Makes it much easier to get out of bed in the morning when I can actually move.

Now, if I could just get rid of these daily headaches, the muscle fatigue I get after any exertion, and the ever-present joint pain I think I'd feel like I could conquer the world. Of course, I'd settle for just taking it slow. Is it too much to ask to be able to write a couple hours a day, and maybe even exercise a couple times a week? Also would be nice if just doing a load of laundry didn't exhaust me for days.

I'm still having way more bad days than good (and sometimes I'm only 'functioning' between 10 am and 3 pm) but I celebrate progress, no matter how small or big.

‪#‎chroniclymewarrior‬ ‪#‎lymeawareness‬ ‪#‎tiredofbeingtired‬ ‪#‎chronicpain‬

Sick and Plump

I recently read this article about being sick and skinny at Bust Magazine.

It makes no evolutionary sense that we, as women, would rather be sickly thin than pleasantly plump and healthy. And yet, I'm as guilty as anyone else. I prefer being thin to being out-of-shape. However, after three years of chronic illness, I am less worried about numbers on a scale, and more worried about how the extra weight adds to inflammation and pain, as is generally proof that I'm not feeding my body well, or as well as I should.

My metabolism, like many middle-aged women sucks. I learned a long time ago, I have to move/exercise in order to maintain my healthy weight...so not being able to exercise for three years has not helped things. I am not one of those chronically sick gals who loses weight. But even if I was, it is not a consolation prize I desire. I'd rather be able to eat well, exercise, and get out of the house and enjoy a full vibrant life instead of being in constant pain.

As women we punish ourselves so much over our weight and agonize over being thin/fat...but in the end you have to wonder, WHY it matters so much? And why would so many of us rather feel pretty than be healthy?

Lyme, the Brain Terrorist

33...that's how many pages I completed on the new script I'm writing. And it only took me 9 days. Not bad considering I had a migraine for 5 of those days, 2 of which were so debilitating I could barely get out of bed. And I also had an endoscopic procedure thrown in for good measure. It's been a "typical" week for a Lymie.

33...maybe not a lot to writers who are prolific and grinding out pages daily, but I have barely written anything (other than an essay here and there)since November 2013 when I took part in NaNoWriMo. My brain, thanks to Lyme Disease, has been MIA. So progress, no matter how big or small, is CELEBRATED.

As a writer, the loss of creative and cognitive ability has at times been more devastating than all the bone-crushing pain and soul-crushing fatigue I've experienced for three long years now.

Weltschmerz

I woke up today trying to come up with a word to describe my state of mind. Then I came upon this article, How to Tell if it's Ennui or Weltschmerz. I believe Weltschmerz is the winner...

Weltschmerz describes "a world weariness felt from a perceived mismatch between the ideal image of how the world should be with how it really is."

As someone who is very sensitive and empathetic, there is much reason to feel "world pain" as I look around at the current world we inhabit. But more than that, as someone suffering from chronic Lyme (now going on 2.5 years with little to zero relief), I feel a weariness within my own personal world because of the unfortunate disconnect between the life I want, and the reality of living with chronic pain.

 

When You Hear Crickets After Announcing your Chronic Illness

My essay about Lyme (which I originally titled "Where is the Love for Lyme?") is now live over at The Mighty. And yes, I have no more vanity and actually published my sick selfie along with the essay. I'm not trying to win any beauty contests over here!

http://themighty.com/2016/01/when-you-hear-crickets-after-announcing-your-chronic-illness-diagnosis/

‪#‎chroniclymewarrior‬ ‪#‎themighty‬

Lyme Disease and the Insecure and Unsupportive RHoBH

"The fact is my challenges are multi-faceted. So far, we've treated my Lyme disease, co-infections, heavy metal toxicity, silicone ruptures, parasites, and viral, bacterial and fungal infections. I don't expect anyone to understand a disease so complex. I've been immersed in discovery 101--finding my way back to health. "

The above statement comes from Beverly Hills Housewife Yolanda Foster, but very well could have come from me (minus the silicone ruptures from breast implants). It makes me very emotional to watch her story unfold on the latest season of RHOBH because I do feel every bit of what she is going through. And I also understand how difficult this fight is, and how hard it is when others don't understand why you are still sick, or speculate that perhaps you are just depressed.

Guess what? You'd be depressed too if seemingly overnight you went from a vital functioning human being to a shell of your former self, who always feels sick and tired and rarely has the energy to leave your home or engage in life. It's bad enough to be sick but so much worse when you have an illness that elicits so little compassion in people.

The Rocky Road to Recovery

Nine days ago, I embarked on a 28 Day Clean Eating Challenge. The first four days were more than rocky to say the least. My body was detoxing and I felt miserable. I had a migraine for four straight days and could barely muster the energy to get out of bed. And then, suddenly, out of the blue, I felt a sudden shift in my health. I woke up feeling good. I mean, really, really good. And I had energy. And I felt motivated. And I could function without having to lay down and take breaks in between tasks. And I didn't have any headaches, or sugar cravings, or the desire to sleep for days.

Truth is, I felt better than I had in years. In total, I had four straight days of almost feeling like my old self. And I began to believe I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. That was until I woke up today. It wasn't a horrible headache, but it was there all the same. It was joined by the evil twins -- sluggishness and fatigue.  And so I was reminded that I'm still not off this twisted path of Lyme. 

I wish getting better was just a matter of eating clean, but I'm afraid things are more complicated than that. I've been sick for a long time, and it's going to take a considerable amount of time and concentrated effort to put me back together again. Eating clean is definitely part of the equation, though, and probably one of the best things I can do to heal my body. After all, food is medicine. But it's not going to happen overnight. There are no magic pills here.