Lizbeth Finn-Arnold

Tired of the Lyme Skeptics...

The ignorance around chronic Lyme continues. I'm so tired of articles about the skepticism around Yolanda's lyme diagnosis. Read latest here. 

When you have cancer or AIDS, people support you rather than question your health. When Pedro Zamora took part on The Real World, he was trying to raise awareness about HIV and nobody complained that he didn't "look sick" or "act sick." He was a young, vibrant-seeming man giving a human face to an ugly, terrible disease. A disease that took his life way too soon, and that many people ignored until they saw celebrities or reality stars dealing with it.

I have met so many people who have suffered exactly like Yolanda Hadid. Not one of us who has fought this fight has any doubt she is telling the truth about her sickness. WE HAVE FRICKING BEEN THERE!!! And we understand how hard it is to get the medical community and insurance companies to help us when the general population treats us like we have an imaginary illness. If they don't acknowledge it, there's no research. Without research there's no cure for millions of people currently infected and suffering.

Tomorrow is Another Day...

Woke up with a terrible headache today and all over aches and pains. Not sure if I'm herxing, or it's hormonal, or due to weather changes, or something I ate, or maybe I was just due for a bad day. I can't complain, as up until today, I've had TWELVE GOOD DAYS in a row!!!

 

I'm hoping this is a temporary flare and am focusing on the fact that I have felt almost normal over the past two weeks. Now I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. My body is capable of healing. I'm not always going to feel this way. I'm going to beat Chronic Lyme!

 

Like Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day." Hopefully, it's a good one.

 

#ChronicLymeWarrior #lymeawareness #invisibleillness #upwardandonward

 

I Feel Good...

Last week was a very good week! In fact it was the best week I've had in three long, brutal and agonizing years. I feel like a new person, or rather like my old self.

I'm not saying I'm completely cured. I still am extremely tired, but for the past nine days, I have been almost pain-free. As in, for the first time in 1095 days, I am without pain in some part of my body. I haven't even had a headache.

Now imagine how I must feel. I've been in pain for every second of every minute of every hour of every day for 1095 days! And now, suddenly I am free of pain! It is nothing short of a miracle.

Won't Find a Cure Without Funding

It's impossible to find a cure without funding. And without awareness (especially media awareness) diseases tend to be ignored and hence, no funding.

So many people are suffering from Lyme but all the media talks about is Zika and Ebola. They like scary, deadly disfiguring diseases because they make for better headlines.

But don't be deceived....you have a much better chance of coming down with Lyme than Zika or Ebola. It's right in your backyard. It's hitching a ride on your dog.

It won't kill you immediately. No, it's a much more insidious disease than that....it steals your life in a heartbeat, and then keeps you alive for years to watch the world go on without you while you sit in bed in agony.

‪#‎lymeawareness‬ ‪#‎chroniclymewarrior‬

Did Prince Die from Pain?

As of now we have no confirmation that Percocet or any other drug played a part in Prince's early death. But I would not be surprised to learn they did. How else does an otherwise 'healthy middle-aged man' just die? Nor would I be surprised to learn that Prince lived with pain for years and pushed himself to perform, giving off the appearance he was healthy and vital. That's what people with chronic pain do -- PRETEND to be healthy. After all, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!

Chronic pain is a problem nobody wants to discuss. How do we live with constant pain? How do we work with constant pain? How do we live up to other expectations when the pain will not go away? Why is pain aging an entire generation before its time and stealing its future?

Waking up Without Pain...

Third day in a row I woke up without feeling like somebody poured concrete around my hips while I was sleeping. Makes it much easier to get out of bed in the morning when I can actually move.

Now, if I could just get rid of these daily headaches, the muscle fatigue I get after any exertion, and the ever-present joint pain I think I'd feel like I could conquer the world. Of course, I'd settle for just taking it slow. Is it too much to ask to be able to write a couple hours a day, and maybe even exercise a couple times a week? Also would be nice if just doing a load of laundry didn't exhaust me for days.

I'm still having way more bad days than good (and sometimes I'm only 'functioning' between 10 am and 3 pm) but I celebrate progress, no matter how small or big.

‪#‎chroniclymewarrior‬ ‪#‎lymeawareness‬ ‪#‎tiredofbeingtired‬ ‪#‎chronicpain‬

Sick and Plump

I recently read this article about being sick and skinny at Bust Magazine.

It makes no evolutionary sense that we, as women, would rather be sickly thin than pleasantly plump and healthy. And yet, I'm as guilty as anyone else. I prefer being thin to being out-of-shape. However, after three years of chronic illness, I am less worried about numbers on a scale, and more worried about how the extra weight adds to inflammation and pain, as is generally proof that I'm not feeding my body well, or as well as I should.

My metabolism, like many middle-aged women sucks. I learned a long time ago, I have to move/exercise in order to maintain my healthy weight...so not being able to exercise for three years has not helped things. I am not one of those chronically sick gals who loses weight. But even if I was, it is not a consolation prize I desire. I'd rather be able to eat well, exercise, and get out of the house and enjoy a full vibrant life instead of being in constant pain.

As women we punish ourselves so much over our weight and agonize over being thin/fat...but in the end you have to wonder, WHY it matters so much? And why would so many of us rather feel pretty than be healthy?

Lyme, the Brain Terrorist

33...that's how many pages I completed on the new script I'm writing. And it only took me 9 days. Not bad considering I had a migraine for 5 of those days, 2 of which were so debilitating I could barely get out of bed. And I also had an endoscopic procedure thrown in for good measure. It's been a "typical" week for a Lymie.

33...maybe not a lot to writers who are prolific and grinding out pages daily, but I have barely written anything (other than an essay here and there)since November 2013 when I took part in NaNoWriMo. My brain, thanks to Lyme Disease, has been MIA. So progress, no matter how big or small, is CELEBRATED.

As a writer, the loss of creative and cognitive ability has at times been more devastating than all the bone-crushing pain and soul-crushing fatigue I've experienced for three long years now.

Watch it or Turn it Off

I have to remember to bring my earbuds with me when I go out. I'm sitting at the car place waiting for an oil change and the TV is blasting. My least favorite stuff too -- game shows and pharmaceutical commercials.

It's just noise. Irritating noise. Nobody's watching it. Everyone is either on their smartphones or reading the newspaper. But still we need to have this irritating background noise?

Doesn't help that I have a dull headache that I'm hoping won't become a full-blown migraine as that would make it the fourth day in a row with a migraine.

 

Weltschmerz

I woke up today trying to come up with a word to describe my state of mind. Then I came upon this article, How to Tell if it's Ennui or Weltschmerz. I believe Weltschmerz is the winner...

Weltschmerz describes "a world weariness felt from a perceived mismatch between the ideal image of how the world should be with how it really is."

As someone who is very sensitive and empathetic, there is much reason to feel "world pain" as I look around at the current world we inhabit. But more than that, as someone suffering from chronic Lyme (now going on 2.5 years with little to zero relief), I feel a weariness within my own personal world because of the unfortunate disconnect between the life I want, and the reality of living with chronic pain.