Last week was a very good week! In fact it was the best week I've had in three long, brutal and agonizing years. I feel like a new person, or rather like my old self.
I'm not saying I'm completely cured. I still am extremely tired, but for the past nine days, I have been almost pain-free. As in, for the first time in 1095 days, I am without pain in some part of my body. I haven't even had a headache.
Now imagine how I must feel. I've been in pain for every second of every minute of every hour of every day for 1095 days! And now, suddenly I am free of pain! It is nothing short of a miracle.
I sensed this shift nine days ago when I was out taking a walk with my husband. I said: "I still feel tired and am really stiff and achy, but it's different. I no longer feel like I have 1000 pounds strapped to my shoulders while I'm struggling through mud up a steep embankment."
There's a lightness to my being that was lost when I was infected with the microscopic bacteria that has nearly destroyed my life. It's as if I've shed my old thick, scaly skin and finally broken free from heavy shackles that kept me stuck in place for three years. I sense a new beginning and a fresh start.
How is this possible? How is it not?
I've done everything I can to fight this illness: tried a multitude of treatments and visited multiple doctors; had a lot of blood drawn and analyzed; gulped hundreds of supplements; spent hours in the infrared sauna; and even more hours rifing; changed every lightbulb in my house that gave off high EMFs; bought an expensive air purifier designed by NASA for my bedroom; drank ozonated water; had hyperbaric and pulse electromagnetic field treatments; tried various pain medications; eliminated gluten, dairy and processed sugar from my diet; started green juicing twice a day; went weekly to chiropractic appointments; went twice a month for myofascial massages; went to MELT classes weekly; applied heat and ice daily; tried every pain-cream on the market; napped for what seemed like half my life; binge-watched Netflix to help me from falling into tedium and despair; walked my dogs; leaned on my family, friends, doctors and healers for support and encouragement; meditated; walked and swam; cried and grieved all that had been taken from me by this illness; and prayed each night that I was on the right track towards health and that I would be guided to do what was best.
And all it cost me was three years of my life and thousands of dollars paid out of pocket for experimental therapies and treatments not covered by insurance for an illness the CDC and Infectious Disease Association claim DOES NOT EXIST. Thousands of us are suffering similar fates, and the so-called experts sit back and call our experiences "anecdotal evidence" that doesn't provide any conclusive evidence of chronic disease. Seriously? OPEN YOUR EYES!!!
I still don't know if I've turned a corner for good, or this is just a temporary respite from this monstrous disease. But for now, I feel good, and all I can do is be grateful for that and move ahead each day, hopefully towards long-lasting health.
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