I was lucky to see a sneak peek of this doc about Nora Ephron last night. It's written and directed by her son, Jake Bernstein, and it is pretty fantastic. However, that being said, I still have mixed feelings about Nora. She was a tremendously accomplished female screenwriter and director (not to mention journalist, essayist, playwright) in a time when few women have been able to make great strides in these fields. To many she is a feminist icon. I have much respect for her.
However, while she has been praised for her brutal honesty and scathing wit, I have often felt it was not completely authentic. Yes, it was all mentally and intellectually spot on, but I felt there was something missing emotionally and spiritually in her writing. Her essays sometimes felt shallow and false (just like many of her romantic comedies). It's like maybe she shined a spotlight on something funny (her own flaws and those of others), to take the spotlight off of other things, perhaps too emotionally painful to express?
I read Nora's book of essays (I Feel Bad About My Neck) shortly before she died and I was deeply disappointed. I guess I wanted a feminist elder to pass on brilliant words of wisdom about aging with grace. Instead, I cringed at the neurotic, self-absorbed passages about her wrinkled neck, and worse, her purse. Stuff, I guess, I consider fairly superficial and not important in my assessment of myself and others. I realize we live in a society that judges women for their outer appearance and penalizes them for aging, but had hoped a genuine, self-actualized feminist woman of a certain age would reject that patriarchal bullshit.
It's just sad to me that such an accomplished and intelligent woman couldn't rise above her own vanity.
But she did give us When Harry Met Sally, so I guess I can forgive her.
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