Right now, my sensory overload is so heightened that I rarely leave the house unless I absolutely need to. Anything having to do with crowds? NO THANK YOU. Driving fills me with dread because the aggressiveness of it here in NJ (I don't even like to be a passenger). Going to a restaurant? Too loud and too many weird smells. Even the movies (once my refuge) fill me with discomfort.
But that doesn't mean that I'm safe from sensory overload even at home. This morning, the lawn guys have been working outside for the past thirty minutes and it fills me with RAGE. Not just because of the sound, but because of the smell of fuel from their blowers/mowers. I can feel the vibrations of their machines vibrating throughout my body. These things are enough to trigger a migraine, and unsettle me for the entire day.
I seek absolute quiet. Which of course is impossible. Especially when you have heightened senses. The ticking of a clock in room I'm not even in can set me on edge. Someone leaves the TV on and leaves the room? It will send me into a fit. The damn birds singing too loud at night can drive me to near insanity.
Lyme isn't just a physical ailment. It messes with your neurological functions. If it were just a matter of pain, I'd push through it and go to lunch or a movie. It's the damn weirdness of these other symptoms that makes it all so difficult to handle (feeling like every cell of your body is on the attack from the inside out). And knowing that THIS IS NOT ME. I am not usually a crazy person who needs to live inside a cocoon. This is just me, right now. Life with Lyme.